Unplugged

So, where have I been these looooooooooong months ?

I "unplugged" myself from my computer. I won't bore you with the details, but it was a much needed break from my computer.

I will be back here, just not daily, probably more like weekly. I think that was part of my problem- I was running out of stuff to write about and it was all sounding like a repeat from the day before.

Lots of stuff has happened these last few months, but the biggest one is that I turned 40. Yep, the BIG 40! A new chapter in my life has started and I embraced it with open arms. A friend told me that I was the only woman she knew that took turning 40 so gracefully, that she hopes when she turns 40 she can react the same way. I've never looked at big ( 20's 30's, 40's etc) birthdays as being scary. I've always looked at them as being new chapters in my life. My 20's were filled with getting married and having children. My 30's were filled with moves, job changes and uncertainty. While my 40's have just begun, I'm looking forward to seeing how the story unfolds.

So, here's to New Life Chapters and a New Year !

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Up To

I thought for sure that after the graduation open house party and the fourth of July, that things would start to slow down around here...... boy was I wrong !

I've been busy studying and PASSING my motorcycle permit test. Now I can ride my scooter outside of my subdivision without fear of being asked to see my permit. Next up my ABATE class so I can get my license....... oh joy!

I've also been busy getting ready to enter 4 of my photos into a local contest. My living room is filled with piles of photo supplies, so I can mount and display my pics.

The living room is going to get even fuller after today, when the shipment of Michael's dorm supplies arrives today. So hard to believe that in what 5 weeks my "baby" will get heading off to college !

Speaking of my "baby" he turned 19 this last Wednesday. His last teenage year! Where did the time go?

Oh well no rest for this woman today.

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Been Awhile- Again

It's been awhile since I've updated my blog- I know MY BAD.

I've been busy with house stuff, plus Barry was home for 9 days this month. When he's home I try to limit my computer time to checking emails and even that is done via my iPhone.

Around the house I've been getting ready for new living room furniture. When we moved into this house 5 years ago I wanted new furniture so bad but said I would wait until Oldest Son M & Daughter K graduated. We bought the furniture we have now when they were still in Grade school. Well the time has come and I've been busy shopping for the perfect furniture, that won't break the bank. I've found it, but now I have to wait and see if our stupid frost law starts- frost law = no large truck deliveries.

I've also been busy re-doing the dinning room. Being a family of 7 we need a large table, the one we have now was bought in our old house it worked perfect there but here...... not so much. It's the wrong shape ( oval) and it just to big for the room. I would really love a new table, but there really isn't anything wrong with it. Plus I would rather spend the money on other things like a new light fixture above the table ( can you say 1980's FUGLY? ) and a new kitchen sink/faucet.

Since there is only 6 of us here now ( and that's even rare these days with 2 kids having jobs) I shrunk the table down to seat 6 and moved the living room area rug under it. Just doing that changed the look and feel to the room. I also bought two cabinets for the corners, they are suppose to be used in a bathroom to hold towels, but they work perfect for what I wanted.

I've wanted to set up a little bar area and the two cabinets work out perfectly. They hold 8 of each style of glasses, ice bucket, shot glasses, cocktail shakers, and other items needed to mix drinks. Getting all of that out of my kitchen ( plus boxing up the other extra bar glasses) freed up so much space, I no longer have stuff stacked on top of everything.

Anyway, that's what I've been up to this month. I hope all is well in your part of the world.

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A Girl & A Party

About a month ago a high school classmate invited me to a party she was having. She has these parties once a month. I debated a long time about going or not. Seeing that my 20 year reunion didn't go all that well, I wasn't sure if I wanted to put myself through that again. Since the party invites were sent via Facebook I clicked Maybe attending and left it at that.

I asked Barry for his thoughts and he more or less said that I should go because I could live through anything for a few hours. He was correct, I could live through it for a few hours, but the hurt teenager in me still didn't want to go.

A week before the party she sent out reminders and it was at that point I made up my mind to go. I was still unsure of my choice, but just kept telling myself that all I need to do is stay the polite 2 hours.

As I'm walking out the door I tell my kids that I'll probably be home around 10:00 if not sooner. Her house is a 10 minute drive from mine and the entire drive I kept having to take deep breaths and reminding myself that I could do this.

The first hour or so I really didn't know what to do with myself. I spent that time pretty much just nodding. A glass of wine later and before I knew it I was laughing, sharing stories , and over all having a really good time. Another glass of wine later and it was Midnight! I had stayed the entire time!

Will I go to another one if I'm invited? Who knows only time will tell with that one. For now I'm just happy I went this time.

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Proud MaMa

Daughter A is my artist, it comes natural to her. About a month ago she came home to tell me that her art teacher entered one of her projects into a show. The kind of art show where it has to be excepted. The kind of art show where she could win a prize.

After filling out paperwork and waiting.......... we found out that her project has been excepted to show! Plus her project was the only one excepted from all the ones sent in from her school !

From March 31-April 18 her art project will be showing at Brauer Museum of Art at Valparaiso University.

I'm a proud MAMA indeed !

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I'm NOT YOUR Relationship Fixer!

Oldest Son M's Dad and I broke up when Oldest Son M was a few days shy of turning 2. Hurt feelings left along time ago and for the most part we get along really good. We can have a conversation about something other then Oldest Son M and I had no problem inviting him to M's 18 birthday party last summer.

That being said for some reason that man seems to think I'm his " relationship fixer". A few years ago when he was in the middle of a divorce, he called to let me know so I could tell Oldest Son M. That would of been fine except he spent the next HOUR crying to me about how much it sucked and asking me what he could of done to fix it. I didn't offer much advice simply because why should I as his ex fix his relationship problems? Even more so when they were the same reason why we broke up! UMMMMM HELLO!? have you not grown up in the last how many years?

I didn't give it much thought after that, until last week when he called me not once but THREE times! The first 2 calls were about Oldest Son M, but the last one ended up about him talking about the problems he's having with his now girl friend.

Come on buddy we BROKE UP 16 YEARS AGO, don't you have a friend you can talk to this stuff about? Have you not figured out by now that you keep repeating the same relationship problems over and over again?

UGH! Maybe I should just start changing him for therapy time........lol

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Scrooge !

My kids high school was having a holiday door decorating contest. It started this week and the judging was to take place next Monday. One of Oldest Son M teachers asked him to design her classroom door. This stressed him out but he took the challenge anyway.

He's been working on it all week and then he came home yesterday and told me they had to take it all down. Why? because their "officer friendly" told the fire Marshall about what the school was doing and it breaks the fire code laws. I guess by covering the doors with paper and battery operated lights ( in some cases) it becomes a fire hazard.

I get it , I even understand it,...... but it's frustrating ! Why can't they let these kids have a little fun? I almost bet that if it was for the football team they would have stayed up, because we all know that the football players are the "golden children" of the school and get whatever they f-ing want.

So to you Mr Scrooge Officer I say......... BAH HUMBUG!

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Quiet

Yep I know I've been a little quiet for a while now...... you can beat me with a turkey drum stick later.

Right now I'm enjoying some time with Barry :0) He got home last Thursday afternoon and doesn't go back to Arkansas until Sunday.

I'll be back on Monday and boy do I have lots to share !

Sneak peek:

TV judges

Cost of living

Small worlds

B-day party drama

anniversary

Until then I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving

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So hmmmmm.......

Daughter A's , Grandma K called here last Saturday. Daughter A had spent the night at the friends house Friday night and wasn't home yet, so I gave her g-ma her cell number figuring it would be easier that way. A little while later Daughter A texts me I'm going to go do something with g-ma on Sunday is that alright. I of course told her that's fine.

Sunday morning we were having breakfast and I asked her when she was getting picked up. She told me that she was to call g-ma when she was ready. A couple hours later Daughter A comes to find me to let me know that her g-ma was here and that she didn't come to the door she just called her - insert my eye roll here.

A few hours later she sends me a text I'm bringing a whole bunch of stuff home with me just so you know. I figured g-ma took her shopping or something since she missed 2 birthdays and a Christmas.

Oh no that would of been way to easy ! G-ma took her to see great grandma and her Dad. Guess what they did????? Over the last 2 years they boxed up all of her stuff she had there , stuff they bought for her, and the sent it all here ! All of her dolls, barbies, stuffed animals, little kids movies, you name it they sent it home with her. Her room is packed full of boxes she can't even get to her closet. She's been going through it taking out stuff she wants to keep, but most of it she has out grown.

So anyway she saw her Dad, which she wasn't all that thrilled about doing. She said he was nice and all and she was nice..... but she's still pissed off at him for how he treated her all this time.

Her new hair didn't go over all that well either, which I knew it wouldn't . The last time they saw here she had hair almost to the middle of her back and it was her natural hair color , which is a sandy blonde. Now it's short and she had it colored a reddish brown with while blonde highlights. It's cute and so much her. Her dads long time girl friend said to her I can't believe your mom let you cut your hair short and color it. Hello people it's hair, it will gown back if she want's it to !

they said they will keep in contact with her better, but honestly I'm not hold my breath over it.

Oh well ...........

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All done

I have finished cleaning out my studio!

I started moving in all my photography stuff. Got about 50% of it in here now...... will do the rest tomorrow I'm to f-ing tired to keep running up and down those stairs lol.

It feels like home again :0)

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Made A Dent

Well, I made a dent in my Great Studio Clean Up project today.

I went in there and starting sorting out all of the stuff I knew I was keeping and the stuff that I spent way to much money on to just give it away. I also bagged up all the trash - dried up paint, markers, ink pads, etc.

Tomorrow I will start boxing up all the stuff my bestie told me that she did want for sure and then later in the week she's coming by to look at the rest.

I thought I would be sad doing this, but it's very ummm.... cleansing lol. It feels good letting this stuff go knowing that in doing so I'm heading into a new direction in my creative life.

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It's Time

When we bought this house 5 years ago the basement was unfinished. It was one of the many things we liked about the house, having the ability to expand if we needed to. One of the first rooms to be built was a bedroom for Oldest Son M. He needed his own room and my Dad went to work right away. The plus side of having a Dad who owned ( he's retired now) his own home improvement business is saving lots of money. Besides the cost of materials we paid him in meals... gotta love that.

After that room was built , my Dad moved onto building me a Scrapbook/Art Studio. For the 2 years we lived in a tiny one stop light town I threw myself into scrapbooking. It was the only thing I had to do and I went for it. I even manged to get myself on 3 online design teams ! Between all of the free stuff I got each much from the design teams and the supplies I bought myself, I managed to collect quit a bit of supplies. They needed a home and I needed a place the I could create without the worry of having to clean up my mess every night.

When it was finished the room was just as I pictured in my mind ( and on paper lol) It was perfect! I painted it a yummy lettuce green and decorated it with fun stuff in shades of purple, orange & hot pink. It was my creative space and you couldn't help but smile when you walked into it.

As my time on the design teams came to and end ,I found myself no longer wanting to see my photos on fancy papers surrounded by odds and ends. I wanted them enlarged and hanging on my walls. I was proud of those photos and I wanted everyone who entered my home to see them. So, I said my goodbyes to the teams and didn't try out for anymore. At first I used my supplies to create gift cards, but after awhile that took a backseat to my photography.

Those supplies have been sitting down there collecting dust for over a year now and it's time to say goodbye to them. My photography stuff needs a place to be housed instead on sitting in plies all over my bedroom floor, and living room, and.......

On Monday I will walk in there and start boxing it all up. Much of it has a new home,a friend of mine still scrapbooks and she can't wait to get her hands on all of that free stuff. What she doesn't want I will let my kids go through to see if they want any of it. I will donate the rest to the elementary school art program.

It's time to say goodbye to the past and take the first step towards my new path in life. And guess what?????..... I'm READY!

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Thank You Contracts !

I never thought I would be grateful that Barry signed a two year contract, but in this case I'm thrilled !

I got to talk to him yesterday, yes folks I'm a happy girl because I got to talk to him for a whole 30 minutes before he left for work last night.

Anyway while we were talking I just said point blank...... what's the deal with the Poland thing. He laughed and said it's not gonna happen. The reason being is that he's only under contract with one division of the corporation. Even though the president of the corporation asked him to go to Poland to start up the new division, Barry can't go because of his 2 year contract. Sure he could pull a lot strings to make it happen, but the odds of him doing that are very slim. He knows how important he ( Barry) is to the division he is under contract with and pulling those strings would bring a huge legal mess. That's not to say that he couldn't ask Barry to go visit Poland from time to time, but that would only be for a week or two and we ( Barry & I) can live with that. He could also put off starting up this new division until after Barry's contract is up, but that's a whole 2 years away and neither one of us is going to worry about something that is 2 years away.

So here's to 2 year contracts! It's not only keeping Barry employed but keeping him here in the states.

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A Mood

I have been in such a whiney, pissed off mood these last few months. Part of it is being depressed, part of it is being bored, part of it is being frustrated, and part of it is just being pissed at the world.

It doesn't help that I can't speak to Barry. I'd give almost anything just to talk to him longer then 5 minutes. It also doesn't help that I'm always thinking about him maybe having to move to Europe ( Poland). I try not to think about it, but how do you NOT think about something like that?

The weather isn't helping matters much either. These rainy, gloomy days are just so depressing. I NEED SUNSHINE ! I can deal with cold weather, I don't like it but I will deal with it, but lack of sunshine..... UGH!

I keep trying to look for the good side in all of this. I'm the kind of person who believes that things happen for a reason. We may never know what that reason is, but there is a reason for all the things we go through in our lives. As much as I believe that, I keep asking myself what possible reason is there for my family to have to go through all of this?

*sigh* What doesn't kill us makes us stronger....... right ?

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This Just Sucks!!!!!!!!!!!

There is no sugar coating this to make it not suck as much.

For the last month or so Barry has been working the night shift. Long story short he is working on some stuff and needs full control over the machines, and he can only have that at night when they aren't running parts.

It just sucks! We hardly talk/text anymore because there just isn't a right time to do it. When he's awake I'm asleep and when he's sleeping I'm awake. This sucks more then when he was in Europe most of last year.

It even sucks when he come home now because all he does is sleep. His "clock" is so backwards that he has a hard time staying up during the day. He may as well not be here at all.

And it looks like this is how it's going to be for the for seeable future...... oh joy !

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Positive Thoughts

I just put the forms for Oldest Son M to attend USI in the mail. He could use all the positive thoughts he can get.

He just makes the requirements to get in. He knows he's messed up in the past and has been working like crazy to try and fix it, but he fears it won't be enough.

He has had a huge run of bad luck these last few years, both is school and his personal life. He could really use a dose of good luck and I know getting into USI would go a long way towards that.

If their turn around time is as they say we should know something by Thanksgiving. I told him that last night as we finished up the forms and he said I know what I'll be Thankful for this year.

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WTF?!

On Saturday while waiting in line for the shuttle van to take us on the tour of the dorms at USI, Barry & I were checking our emails. Oldest Son M was texting his girl friend so it was all good.

Anyway I quickly went through mine and looked over at Barry just when he got the WTF look on his face. I asked him what they wanted him to do now to which he replied...... "It seems that the president of the company wants me to go to Poland sometime next year"

I replied..... "Poland? What the heck is in Poland?!" He went through the entire story which in short..... they are going to open up a new division there and they want Barry to get it up and running. UGH! visions of him living in another country for who knows how long quickly filled my mind.

Heaven help me if he does!

The only thing that made me laugh when he told me this was the families on either side of us standing in line. They kept leaning over trying to listen in on our conversation. ROFL

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That Was Easy

Last Friday, oldest Son M and I drove down to Evansville so we could visit the USI campus on Saturday for their southern hospitality day. Barry drove up from Arkansas and we all met up at the hotel.

When Oldest Son M was a sophomore he decided that he wanted to be a graphic designer. At first he wanted to just go to a 2 year school strictly for graphic design. By the end of his Jr. year he was thinking about going for it and getting his degree in liberal arts with an emphasis on graphic design.

After getting many flyers for different schools and doing online research, he put USI on the top of his list of schools he wanted to visit.

We sat through little meetings, met a few teachers, toured the campus and visited the dorms. After taking it all in Oldest Son M decided that he could see himself going there. So, today he will be filling out the forms and I will mail them on Tuesday. Then it's just the wait and see game.

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Life

Found this on the web while searching for something else

Real is the person who does not define happiness as an absence of problems. Surviving this
business of living is a difficult ordeal at times. How can we retain a healthy sense of humor and
experience a sense of balance in our lives ? How can we realistically and yet with a sense of
wonder live fully and not just survive ? How can we maybe even celebrate this business of living ? To
answer some of these questions we will focus on seven points.

Life Isn't Fair
No matter how good we get at this business of living, none of us gets out of it alive.
Frustrating, isn't it ! Life doesn't always deal us a good hand and doing our best doesn't
always pay off with a positive.

Suffering
Growth is seldom easy and pain is an integral part of our human condition. Everybody hurts.
It's just that some of us are better actors in hiding the pain we feel. Seldom if ever ... are all of
our ducks in a row.

Loneliness and Alikeness
Dr. Albert Schweitzer said, "We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness."
We have all known moments of apartness and empty loneliness. Embracing that reality is
essential if we are to cope effectively.

Personal Responsibility
We each have a choice to be either a death-peddler or a life-giver. We are responsible for the
choices we make. We can become most of what we wish to be if we are willing to change and
pay the price.

Self Worth
A poster reads, "God don't make junk." People are special and each is, "Beautiful in his/her
own way." We are more than our accomplishments !

People Need People
Life is not meant to be lived in isolation. All of life occurs within relationships. We need to
know we are needed and so do those we need.

Mystery
Life is not just one big problem to be solved. Rather, it is a mystery to be experienced, all the
more meaningful and beautiful when it is shared and celebrated with other persons who are
committed to "growing deep, not just tall !"

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Prayer Needed

Oldest Son M's great grandmother( his dads side) is not doing well at all. She's 92 years old and has been in and out of the hospital 4 times in the last two weeks.

He has been praying the she will be around to see him graduate this spring, but it doesn't look good.

Please pray for her.

Please pray for him to find the strength to deal with it if it is her time.

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