I'm NOT YOUR Relationship Fixer!

Oldest Son M's Dad and I broke up when Oldest Son M was a few days shy of turning 2. Hurt feelings left along time ago and for the most part we get along really good. We can have a conversation about something other then Oldest Son M and I had no problem inviting him to M's 18 birthday party last summer.

That being said for some reason that man seems to think I'm his " relationship fixer". A few years ago when he was in the middle of a divorce, he called to let me know so I could tell Oldest Son M. That would of been fine except he spent the next HOUR crying to me about how much it sucked and asking me what he could of done to fix it. I didn't offer much advice simply because why should I as his ex fix his relationship problems? Even more so when they were the same reason why we broke up! UMMMMM HELLO!? have you not grown up in the last how many years?

I didn't give it much thought after that, until last week when he called me not once but THREE times! The first 2 calls were about Oldest Son M, but the last one ended up about him talking about the problems he's having with his now girl friend.

Come on buddy we BROKE UP 16 YEARS AGO, don't you have a friend you can talk to this stuff about? Have you not figured out by now that you keep repeating the same relationship problems over and over again?

UGH! Maybe I should just start changing him for therapy time........lol

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Frustrated

I have lots of stuff that I want to post about.

Fun stuff

Happy Stuff

Mouth watering, yummy food stuff

But All I can come up with these days is how frustrated I am right now.

Why am I so frustrated ?

Barry has NOT GOTTEN PAID THIS MONTH!

He sent off his invoice December 31 and even with the holiday and weekend he should have gotten his check on Friday Jan. 8. It is now Tuesday Jan. 26 and still no check.

Last Tuesday he called the controller, the person in charge of his check, and guess what the guy told him????? He told Barry that he was " a pain in the ass".

A pain in the ass for wanting his well earned pay check?! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since going back to work after the holidays he's worked 16-18 hours a day.

He works 7 days a week.

Changes from days to nights at the whim of the company.

Cuts his week home short.

Will NOT be home the entire month of Feb.

Yet, my husband is a pain is the ass. If anyone is a pain in the ass it is you Mr. Controller!

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I'm Happy For Her But...............

Daughter A's 16 birthday was on Halloween.

The birthday wishes started rolling in pretty early and didn't stop until sometime in the afternoon.

One of those calls pretty much knocked me over...... it was her Grandma K, this would be her Dads mom. The reason it shocked me was because that part of her family hasn't spoken to her in almost 2 YEARS! Not by her choice it was ALL THEIRS.

The first time the kids and I went down to visit Barry in Arkansas was Spring break. She had made the choice to not go with us and stayed with her Dad. I was fine with that, she needed to spend that time with him and that part of her family.

When her Dad dropped her off a week later, he informed me that while she was there she had a teen age fit. That it was uncalled for and he wasn't going to deal with that kind of attitude at his house. That he wanted me to punish her here at home for it. Now keep in mind I had just gotten home from a 8 hour drive and my brain was pretty much mush, so I just stood there nodding my head. He was never able to tell me just what caused her fit either.

If I punished my kids every time they had a fit they would pretty much be punished every day of the week. So what ever she did had to be HUGE for me to punish her for something that didn't even happen under my watch. I tried talking with her about it, but she wouldn't tell me. It wasn't until a few days later that Oldest Son M filled me in, she talks to him about everything. Her boyfriend broke up with her that week. UMMMM hello? She's 14 and when your boyfriend breaks up with you at that age the world is coming to an end, no wonder she had a teenage fit.

I called her Dad and filled him in and he said to me that's no reason to have a fit..... over some stupid boy. She needs an attitude check big time! To which I said if you couldn't handle a 14 year old girls melt down over a boy then all you had to do was call me and I would have called my family to come get her. After that all contact with her Dads family came to an end. Not for her lack of trying, she would call and they never answered or returned her calls.

That was until her b-day and her Grandma K called. She wants to have lunch with her next weekend. I'm happy for her but at the same time I don't want her to get hurt again. I spent the last 2 years picking up the mess they left behind and if they do that to her again... UGH!

It's not like that side her her family had a gleaming track record. Three years ago Christmas, Daughter A called her grandma K to find out when they were going to pick her up. She told her right then and there that her Papa ( great grandpa) is in the hospital and that things aren't looking very good for him. Yep they dropped this bomb shell on her on Christmas Day... you can guess how the rest of her day went. He had been sick since Thanksgiving and was in the hospital for the last two weeks. One would think that maybe someone in that family would of thought to fill Daughter A in so she could have visited him before things took a turn for the worse, but I guess not. One would think that after things did take a turn for the worse they would have filled her in. Maybe they didn't know how to tell her, if that was the case they could have called me and I would have found a way to break the news to her. But to do it on Christmas Day !

When he died a few weeks later, they did call to let me know and she of course didn't take the news very well. I told them I would try my hardest to get her to go to the wake/funeral, but it may be to hard on her to go. They said to me that's OK she really doesn't need to be there anyway. Gee wasn't that nice of them ? Maybe they were looking out for her, but it sure sounded like they didn't want her there in the first place.

Well I'm rambling on now. I just don't want my "baby" girl hurt again by that side of her family. Now with her grandma K calling her all this past crap just comes rushing back to me. I just hope it's my fear and nothing more then that.

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A Little Pissy

I'm in a pissy mood today and I'm not sure why.

I think it's having to due with the fact that I'm a little ticked off at Sexy Stud. Nothing major, I'm just holding a grudge against him right now.

You see I know he busts his ass off at work, he worked 3- 20 hours days last week and he deserved to spend the weekend having fun. Fun as in Saturday he went to a car/bike show the entire day, and on Sunday he went to the drag races the entire day.

As much as I know he deserved to have a little down time, I can't help but hold a grudge when he does.

Because you see ,while he's out having fun I'm stuck here taking care of the house and 5 kids!

Last weekend I drove Oldest Son M back and forth to work, since he no longer has a car because of the accident.

I picked up after 5 kids, because many of them wouldn't lift a finger to help unless I paid them to do it.

I stayed up until 3 AM in the f-ing morning because Daughter K went to the drive inn with her boy friend and his parents and they didn't get back until then.

I swept the sidewalks after Oldest Son M mowed because heaven forbid he do it.

And the list goes on and on and..........

I know we made this choice together when it came to the job and I don't regret it at all. But there are times that I feel like I got the short end of the stick.

Normally I do just fine, but it seems like the closer it gets to summer break the more I hold onto grudges. When the kids are in school I get my break, I get my me time, I get to just relax. But as soon as school is out for the summer, I will more or less spend 24/7 with all of them. No breaks, no me time, no time to just relax. Don't think that I don't like spending time with my kids, I do. It's just that I need my me time in order to function as a good mom.

So, when Sexy Stud spends an entire weekend having fun I hold a grudge against him..... or maybe I'm just jealous. Who knows !?

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Going To Be A Long Summer!

I can already tell that it's going to be a REALLY long summer!

Our new neighbors ( remember the wife that flashed me the why are you talking to my husband look?) are younger then me. Ok I'm not old but I am pushing 40 ( 39 this year) and I'm guessing they are at the most 30. They have two small kids...... the girl is 4 and I think the boy is 2.

When the kids are outside they are ALWAYS screaming. Now I do have five kids so I know what little ones act like when they are outside, but I tried to at least keep the noise down to a dull roar for the neighbors sake.

If the screaming wasn't bad enough, today they had someone over and the teenage boy was playing ball with the kids. Which is fine until he hit the f-ing ball onto the roof of the sunroom. The very sunroom I was trying to relax in. Scared the crap out of me! As the ball rolls down the roof it lands into the gutter and there it stays. The kids tell the Dad and does he do anything about it? Does he even come over here to tell me he will get it? Hell no!

Now I'm stuck with a f-ing ball in my gutter until Sexy Stud gets home, because this woman isn't tall enough to reach the gutter even with a ladder.

That kids is soooooo lucky that he didn't hit and break a window because his ass would be mine right now!

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What A Day !

Munich, Germany- Canon Rebel xti *

As good as spending the day at the spa was on Monday..... yesterday was just as bad.

The day started out with me having to drop off paperwork at the insurance company for Oldest Sons M 's car accident. He's covered under his Dad's insurance, but since: a) We live closer to the company & b) We had the paperwork...... his dad asked if I would drop it off.

The company is in Hobart..... I hardly ever go to Hobart. So I typed in the address in GPS girl and two address come up ( both the same) I hit the first one and away I went. 15 minutes later I arrive......... AT A HOUSE! This is not where I need to be. Frustrated I make my way back to the main road and pull into the nearest parking lot so I could type the address in again. This time I hit the second one...... it wants to take me in the same direction...... not falling for that one again.

Think Terri..... THINK...... maybe if I just type in the name of the company....... it's searching...... and searching. During all this searching I grab my phone and search the web for the insurance company to make sure Oldest Son M's dad gave me the correct address.... maybe they moved and he didn't have the new address....... address was correct. GPS girl is STILL searching..... I get frustrated and stop the search...... maybe if I just type in the name of the street and skip the numbers it will give me something. This works and has me going in a different direction...... find the place, drop off paper work and all is good again.

On my way home I stopped at Home Depot to pick up a bench glider for my front porch...... It's replacing a wicker bench that is falling apart. Get that, then stop at Target to pick up some stuff there. Get home, unload everything and start to put the glider together. Everything is going well.... I'm a little frustrated with the little wrench things they give you to put it together, but I deal with them. An hour and a half later I'm done...... noticed 4 bolts left over...... could these be extras? I check out the directions to see if I skipped a step...... no....... check out the glider for where they could go....... sure enough 4 holes in need for 4 said bolts..... check the directions again ........ that step is missing! A VERY frustrating hour later I get the 4 bolts attached.

I think I need another spa day to recuperate from yesterdays frustrations.

* The photo above has nothing to do with the post. Just sharing some old photos I took.

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I feel bad for him..... I do.......but......

The Husband isn't feeling well. He didn't feel well the entire time he was here, but he sucked it up and dealt with it.

I do feel bad for him and want him to get better, really I do but..........

Today when he got home from work I got a text from him

"Just got home I feel like crap please don't disturb me tonight"

I sent him one back

"Sorry your not feeling well, no problem I'll leave you alone"

But here's the deal whenever he's sick this is what he gets to do. He gets to rest and sleep, and sleep, and sleep. When he's sick on the weekend he sleeps and I try my best to keep the house quite.

Yet, when I'm sick I still have to function like a Mom. I still have to get up with the kids. I still have to cook dinner. I still have to do all those million other Mom things that Moms do...... and I'm sick.

If I try to go to bed early does he even try to keep the kids quiet? NO!

If I'm sick on the weekend does he get up with the kids and try to keep them quite? NO!

And now that he's down in Arkansas, it's twice as bad because there's not one person in this house who will even try to take care of me.

The one and only time, other than giving birth, that I got "babied" was when I was in the hospital for two days with a kidney stone that required surgery!

Please explain to me how this is fair? Give me one GOOD reason as to why when a MAN gets sick he can get all the rest he wants. Yet, when a WOMAN gets sick she still has to function.

UGH!

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I need help,advice, courage ............ UGH!

The Husband has been asking for pictures of me. No, not those kinds of pictures..... well yes those kind..... but that's not what I'm seeking advice for.

He's always asking me to send him pictures and I always tell him you do have pictures of me..... remember all the ones you took while we were in Europe. And he'll say something like yes I know I have those pictures, but I want ones of you like I send you ones of me..... the quirky everyday kind of photos.

I always end up telling him that I will send him some, but never do it for one reason...... I'M NOT COMFORTABLE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA. I never have been, even as a small child I would run away whenever I saw a camera coming my way. I always end up with some stupid or angry look on my face for some reason.

There's one photo of me in this house that I love. It was taken on our wedding day 13 years ago, and it's a profile picture of me looking out the window. I have this calm as can be look on my face and I love it. But every other picture in this house of me I can't stand. Even the ones from Europe I can't stand, and I was so happy yet in everyone of them I look like I'm pissed off and uncomfortable.

To try and help me get comfortable in front of the camera I've been taking pictures of myself every day....... but I've yet to take one that says YES I'm comfortable now. Well except for the one I didn't turn around in time...... then I looked relaxed..... lol

So all of the blogger world I ask you......... HELP ME GET COMFORTABLE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA! Give me all the advice you've got because I long to be as comfortable in front of the camera as I am behind it.

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Stop Calling ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For months now we have been getting these phone calls from a pharmacy company looking for a person who does not live here. It's one of those computer automated things saying is So and So there it's time to refill your prescription.

I always say No to all the questions. The one time I did say yes I was that person ,with the hope that I would get a live person to try and solve this matter ,all I got was another stinking computer ! UGH!

I have looked them up online hoping to find a phone number to call.... NOTHING. All they have is a stinking form to fill out.

I have filled that form out so many stinking times now and every time I get a reply that the matter will be taken care of and we are so sorry to trouble you.

Has the matter been taken care of....... HELL no because I just got yet another call a few minutes ago! And two yesterday!

Even letting it go to voice mail doesn't help because the computer will leave a message! Yet I can't talk to a real live person to fix this problem.

And there's probably some poor woman in need of her meds that she's not getting.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!

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Mixed Feelings

I know I've talked a little about The Husbands bike before, but this post has me filled with mixed feelings about it.

I've always thought of the bike as his baby, since he did bring life to it by building it from the ground up. What started out as just a bunch of pieces became one kick ass piece of work.

I have never been one of those wives that gets upset when their husband wants to go for a ride. In fact, I have been that total opposite. I've been the one telling him that he should go for a ride, I would always tell him you built the darn thing go ride it because what's the point of having it if you don't ride it. It wouldn't take much arm twisting before he was all geared up and heading down the road.

With him in Arkansas and the bike being here, his ride times have been few and far between. Last summer he only rode a handful of time, because it seemed like every time he was able to come home it either rained or there was other things had had to be done. Because of this he has decided that he wants to take the bike down to Arkansas with him, and this is where the mixed feelings come in.

Part of me knows that it's a good thing. The riding season is longer and he loves that fact. It may just be what he needs after a long day at work..... just him and the open road.

The other part of me is screaming NO you can't take the bike down there. It's like having a part of him here all the time. Yes, I know that his flesh and blood children are here, but this is a different part of him. It's his bad boy side , the side I love, the side that makes me tingle from head to toe with excitement. Whenever I walk in the garage and see the bike I just smile thinking about him coming home from a ride. The way he smells...... his leathers, the fresh air, the testosterone pumping through his body..... it well very erotic to me. Plus there's the whole sound thing. I LOVE the sound of his bike. I can hear it a mile away and know he's on his way home.

With the possibility of him coming home this weekend, I will have to face these feelings head on. Because when he leaves to go back to Arkansas ,the bike will more than likely will be going back with him.

It's always the silly little things isn't it?

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Tic Tock, Tic Tock

That is me listening to the clock SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWLY tic tock the hours away. The one thing I hate most of all about traveling it the day before..... it's goes by so fricken slow!

UGH!

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Valentine's Day

I am down right refusing to put Happy in front of Valentine's Day. While I'm sure it is a happy day for many in the world, for me it's anything but happy. Well maybe that's going a little bit to far, so lets just say that I'm not thrilled about today. 

While I do have a Valentine  that loves me...... he's 488 miles away right now and that just sucks! He told me to be on the look out for something today, which I'm sure I will love , but it's still not the same as having him here. 

What really sucks is that our traditional Valentine's Day celebration won't happen this year. Back when are kids were small, we would wait until they all went to bed to have our Valentine's dinner. We would order some yummy food, he would pick it up and we would eat it picnic style in the family room. Even after we had "built in" teenage babysitters we continued this tradition. 

While I'm sure I will live through this day ( I lived through him not being here on our anniversary ) right now I just feel like sulking. 

So to all of you who do have a Valentine - hug them extra tight today. And to all of you who don't have one- have an extra glass of wine on me. 

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UGH! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

So the youngest son, who is 11 and in 5th grade, bring home his homework. Among it is a paper where he has to write 6 questions and answers about the chapter in the story they are reading. These questions need to be open ended, meaningful and require a lot of thought to answer. Did I mention that the chapter is only 2 and half pages long? We could maybe squeak out 3 questions. Meaningful and require a lot of thought........ I'm an adult and would have a hard time with that, yet a 5th grader is suppose to do this. UGH!

I don't ever remember my 12 year old having to do stuff like this and one would think I would remember since he was in 5th grade last year! My 3 high school age kids even shake their heads at some of the work he has to do.

When did 5th grade become so hard?

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UGH!-Not NOW!

Oldest daughter K woke up in the middle of the night with the stomach flu. I DO NOT NEED THIS NOW!

I still have half of the house to clean for the husbands surprise party on the 7th.( I'm deep cleaning now so all I have to do is tidy up the days leading up to the party). I still need to order the food, the cake, and buy all the drinks. All of they needs to be done TODAY because he could be home tonight.

Then there's the ........ I DON'T WANT OR NEED THE FLU ! Nor do I want any of the other kids to get it either. Not now, not ever. ! I told her she's not to come out of her room, she's not allowed to touch anything outside of her room. If she needs anything to call me and I will bring it to her.

WHY NOW? OH please for the love of all things wholly if someone else in the house must come down with the flu can it please be AFTER the party. Thank You and AMEN.

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The Husband Update

Just thought I would post a little update on the husband and the weather.

Wednesday he drove down to Mississippi with a few other guys from the shop. I was of course happy that he went some place warm, instead of trying to stick it out in his freezing cold rental house in Arkansas.

Thursday morning I got the call that he was heading back to Arkansas, the power was back on at the shop. With an already planned run off this weekend , they needed to get things up and running again and fix any problems that may of happened because of the storm. As of last night there still wasn't any power at his rental house, which meant he was sleeping at the shop. If you want to call sleeping between 2 folding chairs sleeping. Plus he had to be up at midnight to let the guys from Germany in. They are staying at the hotel in town ,which doesn't have power, and needed to use the computers etc at the shop to get ahold of their bosses.

You know the "good little wife" in me says this is his job, it pays the bills, he's a big boy and can take care of himself, etc. But the witch in me wants to go find all 3 CEO's of the 3 different companies that started this new business and just give them a piece of my mind. But I won't because you know I like eating and having a roof over my head..... plus I don't have much mind left to give lol

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The husband- update ( UPDATE AGAIN)

I talk to the husband this morning and things are not good in Arkansas. He spent the night at the shop, but they closed it up this morning due to safety reason. He's trying to get to his rental, but he doubts they cleared the road over night. The entire town is out of power and everything is closed. His not sure how wide spread the power outage is, but he's guessing it's a huge chunk of the state.

Right now he's in debate mode as to what to do. Does he wait it out or try to figure out how to get home.

Pray for him. Pray for all of the other people having to deal with the aftermath of this storm. Pray for all the people out east who will be getting this storm next.

10:00 AM update- as of 9:00 am the husband was able to get to his rental to at least see if there was any damage. Trees are down all over the place. One very large tree in the back yard was completely uprooted. Still no power and it could be days until it's back on from what he's heard. Him and his boss were heading back to the shop to check on a machine that needs power or it will freeze up. The full production of this new company is already been pushed back months, who knows how much longer it will be if they need to replace that machine. UGH! They have power where his boss lives ( about an hour away) and he offered to let the husband stay there for awhile. He's debating on if he should take him up on the offer or just come home. That all depends on if and when the power will be restored to the town he's staying in. If it will be days , as he's heard, then he will just figure out a way to get home. I'll update more once I know more. Until then please continue to pray for all those having to deal with this storm.

11:00 AM update- The husband has found out that it could be days if not weeks until the power is back on. Found out that the main power hub , or whatever it's called, is broken in at least 6 places.  He may not be able to get out of there until this weekend, since many of the roads around him a shut down until further notice. He's heading back to his rental and holding up until he knows more.  Chris ( Coke on the key board) if your reading this you may want to get ahold of your husband and tell him to find a place to stay until all of this mess is cleared.  Gas stations are closed all over the state of Arkansas, so he could have a hard time finding it if and when he needs it. 

1:00 PM update- The husband was able to find a hotel in Mississippi of all places. So he will be heading there soon to seek shelter. At least he will have a roof over his head, a warm bed to sleep in and food in his belly . The town you have to go through before his is a total mess. It's so bad they had to call in FEMA ,you know it's bad when they are called in. He's going to hold out in Mississippi until the mess is cleared up enough that he can head home, hopefully some time this weekend. 

5:00 PM update- The husband made it to the hotel in Mississippi. First order of business was to take a long HOT shower. Before he got out of town he got word that they were getting ready to shut the water off to the entire town. The water treatment plant was backing up into the system. Anyway he's safe and sound now and just has to wait it out.

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Up, Up and Away ......

In my beautiful balloon.  Extra points if you can name who sang that song. You don't win anything other than bragging rights that your either a) a music geek , b) really good at surfing the web or c) old enough to have heard that song on the radio......... your choice LOL

Anyway the husband is now on his way back to the states. At least I think he is since I have no way to track his flight until he's in U.S. airspace. Which can be really nerve wracking at times. 

I do have something to do today that will keep my mind ( hopefully) off of him flying. My good friend, who had a baby last Saturday, needs to go to the DR. today and hasn't been released to drive yet and her man can't get the day off of work. So I'm taking her, which I'm thrilled to do since I will get to spend time with her cute little peanut baby. My favorite way to spend time with babies.... spoil them , then hand them to Mom when they get cranky. :0)

In other news is anyone else like me where things ALWAYS seem to break when their husband is out of town? It all started last Saturday when the water in my tub wouldn't stop running. I had to shut the water off to the entire house until my Dad could get here to fix it. Which wasn't very fun considering I had 4 extra kids here. Every time someone needed to use the bathroom they had to find me so I could turn the water on long enough so they can flush. Luckily that was an easy fix and only required a new washer...... always the tiny things isn't it?

The latest happened last night. Daughter K called me from the mall....... the car won't start, but so and so Dad is in the area and said he will come look at it. He got it started but it only got as far as Home Depot and died again. So she calls me back to let me know , and I tell her I'll send a tow truck ( her friends parents stayed with her and brought her home once he got there so don't think I left her stranded) I get on the phone and call the insurance company, which I swear they just about want a DNA sample to prove I am who I am, UGH!  I had the car towed here at home, which was another ordeal. Like almost everyone else on the planet he used GPS to find our house...... and using GPS to find my house takes you the wrong way. First he calls me to say I'm at the gate and can't get in( we live in a gated subdivision , don't be jealous it's not all that great). GPS always takes you to the side gate which you need a barcode to open the gate. I told him this and got him to the front gate, which is manned. Then I know all to well that GPS has our house half way down the street, so I sat and waited until I saw him coming so I could run out there and stop him. By the time I got out there he had already missed the house and  was at the park at the end of the block. I will give him credit though he backed that truck all the way from the park to our driveway. 

Do you think it would be wrong of me to hire a man ,when my husband is out of town, to take care of all these problems? LOL

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Glad that's over with

I had every intention to post this long and sappy post yesterday about my 13 wedding anniversary, but every time I sat down to do it I ended up in tears. As my blog title says he's there & I here 488 miles away and well as far as anniversaries go....... yesterday sucked! I spent yesterday either in tears or mad at the world. If I wasn't crying I was pouting, if I wasn't pouting I was crying. It was one giant crappy day that I thought would never end.

To make matters worse he was here last week for he week home and for the Thanksgiving Holiday. He left on Sunday to back to Arkansas........ he missed being here on our anniversary by two days! Two flipping days people, that's 48 hours! I just kept thinking why couldn't he of stayed just 2 more days? It wouldn't of mattered if he had to leave on our anniversary, at least then I would of gotten the hug, the kiss, the I love you, the Happy Anniversary in person. Instead I had to settle for the 2 minute cell phone call on his way to work.

It's a new day now, I survived , and life will go on. But mark my word I will be making sure his butt is here next year!

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