Dry As A Bone

My biggest comic relief in the summer time has always been watching my neighbors grill. I thought my laughing days were over with, when the old neighbors moved out and new ones moved in, but I thought wrong.

First I present to you "Burger Smasher Man"

He places 3 burgers on his grill that were about as thin as White Castle burgers. Comes back about 6 minutes later, and proceeds to smash the heck out of them with the back of his spatula. Goes back inside and comes back about 6 minutes later , flips them over and smashes the heck out of them again. Back inside...... 6 minutes later flips them over again ...... smashes them again. He does this pattern of flipping and smashing 2 more times, for a total cooking time of roughly 30 minutes. Even if those thin as White Castle burgers were frozen when he put them on the grill, it would only take roughly 6 minutes to cook them. And for the love of all things juicy don't smash the heck out of them! Your smashing out what little juice they may of had in them in the first place.

Now I present " Dry As A Bone Man"

He places boneless, skinless chicken breasts & hotdogs on his grill. I know this because I heard the kids screaming about what was for dinner. He sits down , gets up about 2 minutes later and flips the chicken. Sits back down, back up, flips chicken, rolls hotdogs. He does this pattern of flipping chicken /roll hotdogs every two minutes for the next 40 minutes. First off buddy... hotdogs are already cooked, all your doing is warming them up on the grill, so they don't need to "cook" for 40 minutes. Next the reason why your chicken kept sticking to the grill is because you kept turning it to soon. Test it first and if it's sticking leave it alone...... it will release when it's ready to be turned. Learn this so I don't have to hear you bitching about it next time. Lastly..... for the love of all things juicy...... they were boneless, skinless chicken breasts...... they should of cook for 10 minutes tops.

And they say men are the "Kings of the Grill"....... lol