Jeans, Jeans, Jeans

>> Friday, April 3, 2009

Have I told you about my favorite pair of jeans?

Have I told you about how flipping hard it is for me to find jeans that fit?

I haven't well..... then I really must do that now.

You see I'm short on one end..... That means I'm only 5 foot 2 inch.... OK quit the short people jokes I know I'm short , but I was a full INCH taller than my mom so :0P I'm also shall we say fluffy..... that means I wear a size 14. Because of these two factors finding jeans that fit isn't always the easiest thing to do.

If I find ones that fit in the length half of my ass hangs out. While The Husband loves this I hardly doubt that the rest of the world wants to see my ass. On the other hand if I find a pair where half my ass isn't hanging out they are to long in the length. Now I don't know about you, but when your spending $50.00 on a pair of jeans the last thing I really want to do is go spend more money to have half of them cut off. Just doesn't make any sense to me.

Anyway a few months ago I was at the mall buying a baby gift for some close friends of ours. I was having it engraved and they told me it would be about an hour. Since I had an hour to kill I went window shopping. Along the way I walked by Lane Bryant, I hadn't been in there in a long time so I decided to check them out.

I had heard about their Right Fit jeans and how magical they were, but up until that point I had never tried on a pair.

I checked out their tags:
Blue: If your current jeans gape at the back , have to be cinched at the waist - nope not me

Yellow:If your current jeans fit at the waist but are baggy, fit at the hip/thighs but have to be unbuttoned- maybe depends on the jeans

Red: If your current jeans ride down in the back and have pockets that gape when sitting- BINGO! We have a winner.

So I check out their size conversion chart because these run sizes 1, 2, 3, and so on. Yes I know these are fluffy girls sizes 1, 2 & 3 but let a fluffy girl have her ego boost M'kay? !

I grabbed a size 2 thinking that was about the size I needed and then I noticed they also came in Petite. Hello lover come to mama. Up until a year or so ago I thought they only made petite sizes for short shinny as a rail girls but they also make them for us fluffy girls. Did you know that? You didn't ? Well now you do.

I walked into the dressing room with my size 2 petites and tired them on.

Length- perfect

Fit's in the hip and thigh - perfect

Ass- While it wasn't hanging out it looked like I had a load of something in there and it wasn't pretty.

Total buzz kill !

As I quietly take off these magical jeans a thought came to me..... dare I try a size 1 ?!

I head back over to the rack and find the size 1, not having much hope I go back to the dressing room to try them on.

Length- still perfect

Hips and thighs- still perfect

But the ass, what about the ass? I turned around and not only wasn't half my ass showing but the load of what ever was also gone.

At last I found a pair of jeans that fit! I tell ya ladies it was like having an orgasm WHILE eating chocolate !

I walked out of the dressing room and bought not 1, not 2 but 3 pairs of those jeans. Because surely if one pair of these jeans makes me feel like having an orgasm while eating chocolate then 3 would be like having an orgasm while eating chocolate and having a back massage.

So there you have. That's the story of how I found my favorite pair of jeans.

3 Love Notes:

JackeeG4glamorous April 3, 2009 at 1:42 PM  

OMG, I totally understand the JeanSearch. I cannot bear the dressing room mirrors - I'm only good for one try on. ONE. If it don't fit in that one chance, that slim bit o-nuttin, I run, flee from the store, my eyes burning from what I've just seen! (a size fourteen in the mirror when in my head I'm still a youthful 8 or at least 10)
Shock and awe.

Anonymous April 7, 2009 at 8:47 PM  

Note to self: Must find orgasmic, chocolate eating, back rub jeans.

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