I'm Happy For Her But...............

>> Monday, November 2, 2009

Daughter A's 16 birthday was on Halloween.

The birthday wishes started rolling in pretty early and didn't stop until sometime in the afternoon.
One of those calls pretty much knocked me over...... it was her Grandma K, this would be her Dads mom. The reason it shocked me was because that part of her family hasn't spoken to her in almost 2 YEARS! Not by her choice it was ALL THEIRS.

The first time the kids and I went down to visit Barry in Arkansas was Spring break. She had made the choice to not go with us and stayed with her Dad. I was fine with that, she needed to spend that time with him and that part of her family.

When her Dad dropped her off a week later, he informed me that while she was there she had a teen age fit. That it was uncalled for and he wasn't going to deal with that kind of attitude at his house. That he wanted me to punish her here at home for it. Now keep in mind I had just gotten home from a 8 hour drive and my brain was pretty much mush, so I just stood there nodding my head. He was never able to tell me just what caused her fit either.

If I punished my kids every time they had a fit they would pretty much be punished every day of the week. So what ever she did had to be HUGE for me to punish her for something that didn't even happen under my watch. I tried talking with her about it, but she wouldn't tell me. It wasn't until a few days later that Oldest Son M filled me in, she talks to him about everything. Her boyfriend broke up with her that week. UMMMM hello? She's 14 and when your boyfriend breaks up with you at that age the world is coming to an end, no wonder she had a teenage fit.

I called her Dad and filled him in and he said to me that's no reason to have a fit..... over some stupid boy. She needs an attitude check big time! To which I said if you couldn't handle a 14 year old girls melt down over a boy then all you had to do was call me and I would have called my family to come get her. After that all contact with her Dads family came to an end. Not for her lack of trying, she would call and they never answered or returned her calls.

That was until her b-day and her Grandma K called. She wants to have lunch with her next weekend. I'm happy for her but at the same time I don't want her to get hurt again. I spent the last 2 years picking up the mess they left behind and if they do that to her again... UGH!

It's not like that side her her family had a gleaming track record. Three years ago Christmas, Daughter A called her grandma K to find out when they were going to pick her up. She told her right then and there that her Papa ( great grandpa) is in the hospital and that things aren't looking very good for him. Yep they dropped this bomb shell on her on Christmas Day... you can guess how the rest of her day went. He had been sick since Thanksgiving and was in the hospital for the last two weeks. One would think that maybe someone in that family would of thought to fill Daughter A in so she could have visited him before things took a turn for the worse, but I guess not. One would think that after things did take a turn for the worse they would have filled her in. Maybe they didn't know how to tell her, if that was the case they could have called me and I would have found a way to break the news to her. But to do it on Christmas Day !

When he died a few weeks later, they did call to let me know and she of course didn't take the news very well. I told them I would try my hardest to get her to go to the wake/funeral, but it may be to hard on her to go. They said to me that's OK she really doesn't need to be there anyway. Gee wasn't that nice of them ? Maybe they were looking out for her, but it sure sounded like they didn't want her there in the first place.

Well I'm rambling on now. I just don't want my "baby" girl hurt again by that side of her family. Now with her grandma K calling her all this past crap just comes rushing back to me. I just hope it's my fear and nothing more then that.

1 Love Notes:

Stacie's Madness November 2, 2009 at 1:53 PM  

hmm, her dad's side of the family sounds like my dad's family...eventually and sadly, she will begin to expect the disappointment they make her feel...maybe even become somewhat immune to it.

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